theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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