i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dignity is for republicans.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
