she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
