we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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