Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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