can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
