my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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