Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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