he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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