I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
