Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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