No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
