Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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