he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
