During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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