hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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