my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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