WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
