i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
