so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
