meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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