I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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