I didn't shave. On purpose
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
