Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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