She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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