with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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