I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
