She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Randomize
