I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Randomize
