you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have already put on my inside pants.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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