Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
