census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
