I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
