time to smoke my breakfast
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The feeling are messing with the penis
Randomize
