Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
