You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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