dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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