you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize