her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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