found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
