I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
time to smoke my breakfast
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
