Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.