I accidentally had phone sex last night
"it" just moved
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.