Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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