you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up