do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires