the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
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