put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Michael Bay diarrhea
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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