Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
