Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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