Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
