hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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