you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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