You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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