I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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