im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
