You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
